For The Love of Birds

ImageWell, I found out I pretty much for sure have cancer of the thyroid today.  At least the Radiologist who did the CT scan thinks so, my doctor thinks so and the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor I saw today think I do.  In about a week I go for a Ultra Sound, then they will give me shots in my neck to deaden it (I can’t wait for that), then they will extend a large needle type thing into the mass, which is pretty big, they say, and try to draw some material out of it for the testing to see whether or not it is cancer.

Supposedly I am lucky I found the lump in my neck so soon, as it would have spread very rapidly.  The bad news is that I have to go under the knife either way, the mass has to be removed whether or not it is that ugly word (cancer).  Going under the knife is what I didn’t want, I was hoping they could just stick a large needle in and pull out all the liquid until it’s gone.  The good news is that thyroid cancer is easy to get rid of, that is if you don’t mind having your throat cut and I do.  But there will be no radiation, no chemo, no losing my hair.  That is very good to me.

My step-father, I should say adoptive father, will not let me talk to my mother about this.  She lives in a Fairy Tale world where there are never any problems.   Hummmm  I would like to live in a protected world like that.  Unfortanately, I do not.  I come from a family of five girls plus my mom and dad (my  birth father died over 24 years ago) yet, I have no one to talk to about having cancer except my soon to be ex-husband.  All my sisters are still in Kansas, except the youngest half-sister lives in Dallas, but she and I are not close, I never lived with her.  That’s another story also.  Anyway, if I told one of my sisters that this has all been going on, they would tell my mom and she would get Pissed Off at dad for not telling her, even though she always says not to tell her anything bad because she would worry, yet she has faith and she prays about everything and never worries.  So why, at a time like this, can I not talk to my mother?????

I got home and my poor baby conures were screaming, they hadn’t been fed in six hours.  All the other birds were screaming because for some reason, before I left to go to Corpus Christi to the EN&T doctor, I didn’t think to feed all the birds, so they were all hungrier than I was, so they got fed first.  Dan, my 12 1/2 yr. old German Shepherd Dog got fed first too  because I feel sorry for him being so old and he can no longer hear, so I can’t explain to him, “Well, you see, Mama has cancer and I don’t feel like worrying with you right now”.  So he got fed first also.  When I got to feed myself I looked in the fridge and there was litterally nothing to eat unless I wanted to cook.  I didn’t.  So, I ate a peanut butter and toast sandwich.  Shortly after I ate it, my soon to be ex-husband called and wanted to take me to get a hamburger.  I wasn’t hungry so I didn’t go.

You see, I also have these seven button quail running around in my bird room and I’m figuring out they poop all over the place and they are stinking up the whole house.  I got them  because I was told they would eat all the dropped parrot food.  They do, but then they poop all over the place and it stinks.  I think I already told about the button quail.  Anyone want them?  If you can catch them they are yours.  I think I’ll sit and watch QVC and pout because I feel lonesome because I probably have cancer and no one to talk to or to get pity from.  So much for coming from a large, very close family………..Oh, and when I got home, like at 5:03 pm, there was a envelope in the mail from my dad about “When Your Kids Divorce You”.  My mom added at the bottom of it, “See, you’re not the only one”.  That’s another story also.

I’m gonna go and feel sorry for myself now.  Later………….